Trudeau Explains He Just Needs Two Weeks To Slow The Spread Of Freedom

OTTAWA -- Justin Trudeau has faced heavy criticism this week after allowing a
strain of Freedom to spread through the Great White North. The Canadian Prime
Minister addressed the nation on Tuesday to calm the fears of his adoring
constituents, informing them he needed just two weeks to slow the spread of
"world-annihilating freedom."

"We have survived COVID-19 thanks to my leadership," said Trudeau in a prepared
statement. "Now, I'm calling on all Canadians to hang in there a little longer
as we face this new threat of Canadians thinking they should be allowed to have
liberty. I just need two weeks to slow the spread of the virulent freedom
surging through our populace."

Trudeau then signed an executive order to forcibly lock everyone in their homes
for two weeks. Everyone will be required to wear enough masks to completely
muffle the sounds of their voices so that freedom can't spread from person to
person.

A survey conducted this morning reveals 78% of Canadians disapprove of
Trudeau's messaging but figure he knows what he's doing. Unfortunately, sources
on the ground say freedom is still spreading through unfettered "honks."

SOURCE: The Babylon Bee

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